My UnbornMemorial Wall
In loving memory of
My Unborn Story
My name is Eugene, and I am your biological father on earth. Sadly you were never born, and I never got the opportunity to meet or hold you in my arms.
I'm not sure if you have been waiting for me or if you even knew that I existed because up until recently, I did not realize that you had a soul or a spirit that God had taken up into heaven.
I was born in Rotorua but grew up and went to school in Mount Maunganui, Papamoa, and Te Puke, New Zealand. The towns were 20 minutes apart but are now suburbs of interconnecting cities and freeways. I spent a lot of time around the ocean. I loved surfing, fishing, and driving around the countryside with some great friends on some Krazy kiwi adventures.
In 1993, at the age of 22, I worked in a music store and DJed at nightclubs on weekends. I grew up around all types of music genres, from the '50s through to the top 40. Your mother and a female co-worker would come into the music store every Friday night, not only to buy music but also so her friend could chat and flirt with one of my work colleagues. It was all sweet and innocent fun. Her and her friends would dance the night away at a nightclub where I was the DJ. And that is how I met your mother.
In 1995, we were living together when you were conceived and growing in your mother's womb. Upon hearing the news, we were both shocked as you were unplanned and we were unprepared. After reading through the limited information about abortion, we were left with the impression that if we didn't want you now, we could have you later when we were ready.
By the time we had come to a conclusion, you were already in the second trimester, so you had to be surgically removed - a simple and safe procedure, so we were told. We drove the two-and-a-half-hour drive to Auckland. I sat in the waiting room as they wheeled your mother into the theatre room. After some time, a nurse instructed me to bring our car around to the wheelchair ramp at the clinic's back door. I parked up where I was told. They wheeled your mother out and helped her into the car. She was still drowsy from the sedatives, and I was numb and speechless of what we had just done. The drive home was dead silent.
At the time, I thought that abortion was the removal of a cluster of cells and the solution to our situation. I was dead wrong. Abortion was not the solution I thought and hoped it would be. It was a curse that condemned my soul and crucified my spirit. It destroyed my relationship with your mother through guilt, grief, anger, sorrow, blame, and resentment towards each other. A few months after the abortion, we separated and I moved away. We never saw each other ever again.
Two decades later, I was asked the A-Bomb question… "have you had an abortion?”... Twenty years of suppressed memories and buried emotions suddenly burst out of nowhere and exploded within me… like a bomb.
From there, I was led on a unique path that created The Unborn Flame. It was a long and lonely journey but what I learned was that when you were conceived, not only was your body and mind developing in the womb, but God had also given you a soul and a spirit. Although your mind and body were destroyed in the abortion, your soul and spirit were captured up and into heaven. At that same time in my life, I did not know or believe in God. It would be many years later that I would come to know Him and many more years later before I would come to know about you.
Mercedes, I wish that what happened didn't happen. I thought we could have you when we were ready, but later I learned that there is only one of you, and we let you go.
I'm so sorry that I did not let you breathe the air, smell the garden of God, taste and explore the delights of earth, sing, dance, fall in love, watch the sunset, or dive for pearls. Although you will never experience these here on earth, there are two words on earth that I want to give you that have so much meaning.
I am so sorry for what I let happen to you. It was a sad and terrible moment for all of us, especially your mother. I pray and hope that she has found peace, love, and forgiveness. Please forgive us both.
I am humbled and grateful to have completed my journey of The Unborn Father.
May my Online Memorial Wall serve to honor you, dignify you, and memorialize you forevermore. I know that you can not return to me but I know that one day I will see you face to face.
With all my love
My Dedication Songs
My Dedication Photos
My Mercedes Keyring
Your Brothers and I (2019)
Abortion Kryptonite Series (2019)
The Unborn Flame (2022)
My Unborn Flames
My Unborn Flame of Love
My Unborn Flame of Joy
My Unborn Flame of Peace
My Unborn Flame of Forgiveness
"The Unborn Father program has truly changed my life. I never thought I would be able to find healing and forgiveness for my past abortion, but the program helped me to do just that. I am now at peace with my past and can finally move forward with a clear conscience." - Eugene
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